Sci-fi Narrative Essay

Typed, 11-12 point font, and double-spaced, with a centered title (MLA format)
No more than 1600 words (roughly 5-6 double-spaced pages). Sci-fi Narrative, already written the first draft please look through the documents attached and finetune the story according to the rubric and exemplars

the ending need to be more compelling – Mac needs to flip from having good intentions and that needs to be clear

I need help fine-tuning the work generally to advance my story’s theme more. My draft is 2000 words as of right need it to be edited to 1500-1600 words
The main character is Mac, he is living in a world where everyone is under the trance- Trance is a huge franchise company which buys and resells dreams. There are addict like characters called dreamheads who are addicted to this product, In mac’s world everyone is addicted to it except him. He is a cynical twitchy character that feels out of places and wishes the world would go back to the way it used to be.

The story starts off he’s at the store with his friends who are buying products but he is simply observing, he goes some after meeting his friends and He goes home gets to sleep. He has a flashback dream about how it used to be with nix and Remy (his two friends) and the environment is very different, maybe use the imagery of the petrichor. He dreams of a world he once knew his place in, he sits in a cafe with his friends, they are present, they laugh and chatter, he can hear others around him chatting away and cafe culture is prominent. he has a dream about what the world used to be like before and he realizes that he has the power to change it so he tries to resell his dream about that in order to get people to buy it, to see his dream and make them want to revert back to society before trance. But his plan goes south because he gets drunk on money/ power so there is a lot of irony because he used to be critical of dreamhead but in the end, he becomes the product that is sold.

the theme is my story- essentially the whole point is the future in which we are heading to is a future in which we strive to turn that which is ephemeral into that which is tangible. Meaning as a society, we want permanence. For example, memories are something so ephemeral that we made tangible by capturing them in photos/videos etc. What if one day we can do that with dreams? As much as this has allowed us to look back at memories, we often are not present when making new ones. the danger of commodifying everything, even such an organic human process like dreaming, is that we lose a sense of humanity altogether.

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